Narrative

He doesn’t love me anymore, I can see it in his eyes. We have been together for about 2 years now and I thought everything was going great. I don’t know what happened to us. We used to be the perfect couple. We were together all the time and we never fought. Everyone thought of us as the perfect couple, I thought that too. I would trust him with my life, he was the one for me.
We had our lives planed out, we were going to get married and have 5 kids. We both share a love for children. I felt as if he was the only one in this world for me. My parents loved him, my sister said we were the perfect match. I would call him mother every night, we were very close. Our lives were perfect.
One night he came home, he didn’t say a word to me. It seemed kind of strange to me considering every night when he would come home from work he would give me a kiss and tell me about his day. But tonight was different. He went into the bathroom, changed and went to bed. Although I found this quite strange, I just assumed he had a bad day and didn’t want to talk about it. I wasn’t one to force things on people, so I just took his behavior as a sign that he wanted to be left alone. I just told him I love him and goodnight. I got no response back.
The next morning he was his normal self, I knew I had nothing to worry about. We exchanged our goodbyes and he went to work. I waited upon his arrival home with sweaty palms and a tight throat. I was so nervous, this was a different feeling for me considering that he never makes me nervous. I know that I can always be myself around him. But tonight was different. I heard the front door open, I could feel my back tense up. He walked into our bedroom, I looked up at him and he couldn’t look me in the eye. I felt like I was 2 inches tall and wanted to cry. Why had he changed? Was it my fault? Once he crept into bed beside me I could smell it, the cheap stench of perfume. At that moment, I knew what was going on with him. I didn’t say a word, I couldn’t. I wanted to get up and tell him to get out, I felt as if I never wanted to see him again. He was not the man I met 2 years ago. He has changed and maybe I should too. But it’s too hard, how could I leave this all behind? No matter how much I hate him right now, I still love him.
This has been going on for a few months now, and I still haven’t said anything. I just can’t throw away these past 2 years. I love him, but I can see the feeling is not returned. Every night I lay next to him, breathing in that intoxicating smell of stale perfume. It kills me, everyday of my life. How did we get to this point? I may never know. But I do know that we can’t go on like this forever, he will end it sooner or later. In the meantime, I can’t bring myself to do it. I know that his love for me was lost a long time ago, but I just can’t seem to let go.